The Wedding – Vows 9/18/11
On September 3, my son Josh married his girl friend Nancy in New Hope, Pa. They were married in a beautiful ceremony at a beautiful place. The Black Bass, where the ceremony took place, is located right on the Delaware River, north of Philadelphia. The weather cooperated and there could not have been a better day.
I thought the vows that Josh and Nancy exchanged were so expressive and passionate that I wanted to share them. My reason for posting this is solely to share something beautiful. In any wedding I have attended, I do not think I have ever heard such strong and direct mutual declarations of love and caring. As part of his vows, Josh sang Tupelo Honey. Just as a Van Morrison fan I loved that but Josh’s performance was right up there. I think Van himself would have approved.
I asked for permission to post this and Josh and Nancy Have graciously allowed this. Thank you Josh and Nancy! I am posting both their vows and the youtube of Josh singing Tupelo Honey.
I do wish both my parents and my sister Lisa could have been at this event. I know they would have loved it. I feel fortunate I was there.
Never in my life have I met someone who has so naturally embraced and shared in the same ideals and
general perspective on life as I do.
The connection you and I share Nancy, is bigger that the two of us. I believe that the fruition of this
relationship is generations in the making.
If that sounds crazy to you folks, than I’m saying the right words. Crazy is the perfect adjective to
describe the amount of love, personal connection, interest, passion, and adoration I have for this
Finding you was unexpected. I could have never predicted that I’d find my partner so easily, like it was
meant to be, and it is. When I look at us from a bird’s eye view, I see the same type of love that my
grandparents shared. In my assessment, the kind of affection and care we have for one another seems
to only exist by way of a rare, kindred type of connection. My popup and nana had that connection and
while I’m sorry they can’t be here with us to see today, I knew they could sense that kind of love in us
when they met you.
I’ve always been independent and created a unique path for myself. I know you’ve been the same
way. I take what I want out of life and do my best to appreciate the world around me. I’m grateful for
the experiences I’ve had and the lessons I’ve learned. I believe every door I’ve opened, every path I’ve
chosen has brought me to this moment right now… A gradual but complete transformation.
Nancy, you are my life. I’m so incredibly fortunate to be here right now. Your love and understanding,
your thoughtfulness and care has overwhelmed by very being. I’ve grown from the me I once knew;
to the man I could have never projected but always hoped to be. I’ve done that with you and the love
you’ve brought into my life.
I want to tease on a favorite musician of mine, John Coltrane,
This IS a Love Supreme.
Beyond THAT there are no words.
My feelings for you transcend language or verse.
WE are an improvisational phrase filled with feel, rhythm, texture, substance, tension and release.
This moment is a crescendo in our lives but it is NOT the climax.
That will come every single day after today, for the rest of our lives.
As long as our energy is surging through the universe, I will be your #1. I will be your strength and
support. I’ll be there to make you happy when you’re sad. I’ll even save you from the rogue insects that
come in the house from the yard with Dobby.
I am yours baby and I love you more than I could tell you. I won’t ever be able to fully express myself
in words because, what I’m saying right now is familiar, it’s palatable, easy for you and our family to
That’s not good enough for me. Not on a day like this. I want everyone here to FEEL the way I feel
Singing has always been the best way for me to express myself and I felt like it would be the only way to
show everyone how I feel right now.
So, I wanted to play this song because I’ve heard it a million times in my life and I believe that every time
I’ve listened to it, it’s brought me closer to this moment.
I love you.
I can’t believe this day is here. I’m so thankful to stand with YOU, surrounded by loved
ones to merge our families and our lives. It’s a good day. One in which we are all
healthy, we’re all together. And those who are no longer with us are here in memory,
and in spirit. While I wish our lives could be filled with days like this, I breathe easy
knowing that we’ve built a foundation to weather whatever our days may bring.
Because today, I’m marrying my best friend.
When I met you, Josh I suddenly knew everything I wanted, or at least all the things I
thought I wanted became infused with meaning. Whatever riches I’d hoped to accrue,
were now for the purpose of building a home together. Whatever notoriety I wished for,
became to be respected by you. Whatever day I wake to, is now cherished as another one
I get to spend with you. Whatever truth I offer, is to be wholly honest with you, because
if I am to be truly known and understood in this life, it shall be through you.
To trust you with all the love I have to offer, and feel worthy of accepting all of yours,
has transformed my life in a way I never could have predicted. Your love has shined a
brilliant light into all the dark corners of my soul, so that I am finally awake, fully alive.
Your patience and commitment to understanding all of me, treating it not like a burden,
but appreciating it as a privilege has made me feel less complicated than I know I am.
You are my twin, the other half of me I never knew was missing, until we met, and felt
what it was like to be whole. The truth of that wholeness is now my sail through life, so
that no matter what storms may occur, I will hold tight to it and never give up on your or
us or even myself.
Today I’m entering a commitment to dedicate my whole self in a way I never have
before, with a strength I didn’t know I possessed until I met you. This dedication to us
now defines me, it is my life’s work. All good things, will come from it. And if my life is
blessed with no other good fortunes, I will forever be indebted to the world for bring me
to you, as there’s nothing else I want from this life other than to be with you, to be a good
and loving partner to you, and to deserve you each day. Our love is now my mark upon
the world. It is the validation of my life, and when we are no longer, the sky will read…
Nancy was here… because Josh loved her.
For eternity we have been one
But here we breathe as two
In this place where all meant things
Be exactly as they should
In perfect synchronicity
Here, we breathe as two
So that the love of one heart for it’s other
As a lost ship for its starlit harbor
As Heloise for Abelard
Must skim the surface of the earth
on it’s way from one to the other,
so the bees have wind
and the flowers pollen
and the world can have its harvest
and I may have you